Hope this ok to share........ this may be triggering............ Posted last year so dates are a bit off.
I am only 23, Acccording to last years psyche evaluation report I am a schizoid, avoidant, melancholic, dependant, negativistic, masochistic, borderline, and paranoiac person with aspergers syndrome,adhd, ptsd, ocd, Reynaud's phenomenon, bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorder with moderate recurrence no psychotic features, and I dont know everything about what happened to me.....but what i do know is bad enough.... The reason why i was adopted was because I was temporarily paralyzed on my right side at the age of 4 cause of how much my real parents beat me, they caused me to have a stroke.... I don't know them. I wasn't just temporarily paralyzed I also had a broken arm and a broken collarbone. And if I didn't dig food out of dumpsters id get beat again.......
Had to go through eleven years of therapy and counseling......and lost the only father I ever knew (my adoptive one) three years ago, and When my adoptive dad died I didn't cry or anything until halfway through the service when i had a complete breakdown and got cold and was shaking and crying in the middle of august.......i even had to put a sweatshirt on and mom had to give me medicine to calm me down.....
I almost died in a car accident back in January of last year cause my old job was bouncing checks left and right causing my anxiety to skyrocket to the point where I had an anxiety attack while driving back to the shop to get it all figured out.........and apparently my biological mother used to hold my head underwater if I soiled my pants in the first 3 years of my life.......while in the adoption process both me and my brother couldn't even visit our biological mother cause every time we did we would have a strong emotional reaction where we would start vomiting uncontrollably...... Idk what to do, my biological mother and sister reached out to me and I am getting two different stories as to what actually happened. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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- I’m sorry you went thru that. Sometimes it’s best not to revisit the past. I would spiral down. Everyone is different. ?2
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- 16w
- Ive just (by chance) found my dad who I lost touch with for decades and so far it's went well, but i never went thru anything like what you've been thru.Youve been thru a lot of trauma + therapy and if it were me, I'd be cautious about letting them into my life. Could it help you or could it set you back? Have you discussed any of this with your counsellor and your adoptive family?2
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- 16w
- You poor soul. I am so sorry. In my experience abusers quite often live in denial or truly believe what they did was right and not so bad at all.I am worried this could trigger a very strong emotional reaction.It is up to you but I would leave the past in the past. But if you decide to meet please don't go alone.5
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- 16w
- Annie GriffithsI wouldn't go alone...... But I really only have one person I would trust to come with me
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- 16w
- That's ok. You only need one person.
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- 16w
- Some people need to speak with the abuser so they can heal. Some heal a lot better without that in their life. I wish I knew what the best plan of action would be.Personally I would probably avoid them... because too much, is too much.2
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- 16w
- I agree with what everyone else is saying, you have been through enough
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- 16w
- I cannot begin to imagine what your life must be like nor will I try to. What I will say is that, in my opinion, it would be best to move forward and leave those people forever. She is a biological parent but she is no mother. It sounds as if you had an incredible father and still have an incredible mother (adopted parents), there is no need (again, this is only my opinion) to let someone back in to your life that almost took it from you.Appreciate what you have, look forward to the future and leave the past in the past.2
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- 16w
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