I try my best not to be woe is me to my little woman but I can’t help it sometimes. I try to be tougher when I talk to her, but it’s an act because I don’t want to run her off. I lost control a little bit today and I’m going to freak her out. But it’s a catch 22, because this is my reality. If she’s ever going to be a regular part of my life, this is it. This is how it is to live with me. I am constantly suffering and I get mad when people speak to me a lot of the times, because when people speak to me at times that I have not planned, it causes me a lot of distress and gives me a helpless feeling.
I do my appointments with my therapist on computer. Same with my medication provider. Their appointments are scheduled and I can get ready for them and it isn’t too taxing. It would probably never occur to them that I get extremely distressed from people talking to me. But most of the time, I need people to leave me be and to not interfere with my day. If someone spontaneously talks to me, say asks me a question or starts talking about something about their day, it causes me terrible distress and it causes me to experience my handicap. I can feel the brokenness of my brain very intensely on a lot of the times that people do that. I become completely overloaded.
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