Marilyn Mitchell learn to cope with 1

Sara Jane Isom Marilyn Mitchell exactly. THAT we are working on. I had to explain it was literally that her brain worked differently and there was no “fixing” it.

Marilyn Mitchell my sister persecutes me; she won't believe me because I don't need to talk to a doctor until they finally agree with the obvious. 1

Jaji San Samuraidesu Ty

Jaji San Samuraidesu Hello 1

Marilyn Mitchell that is good advice. I have to go outside because the music in the store is what upsets me the most.

Lance Johnston Kim Heine Jensen Anthony?

Lance Johnston Kim Heine Jensen um, I never thought there a cure and never looked at it as something to recover from. Just learn to live with and enjoy life. Sounds like things have been pretty rough for you lately.

Dawn Wechsler Kim Heine Jensen I realize there is no cure, however, coping skills can be learned that greatly improve your quality of life and your chances of having a successful relationship.

Vanessa Darnell Susie Robinson hi x if you would like to message me your sons details she will def be in touch

Dawn Wechsler Amanda Bailey Cole Maybe I am lucky, with two children I am okay, just stretch marks from the second baby

Amanda Bailey Cole Dawn Wechsler well, to be fair, I made a bold claim with nothing but anecdotal evidence. I'd ask a doctor if there was anything I could do, but I think I would just be dismissed.

Dawn Wechsler Amanda Bailey Cole I do think it’s a common occurrence, my mom was never the same

Rui Miguel Costa Is gonna take awhile

Rui Miguel Costa Brown Carlene thank you 1

Brown Carlene Rui Miguel Costa one step at a time. You can change your life.

Brown Carlene Rui Miguel Costa give her some time.

Rui Miguel Costa Brown Carlene yes time.

Rui Miguel Costa Brown Carlene

Rui Miguel Costa

Rui Miguel Costa This job I did for my mother in law for free

Rui Miguel Costa

Rui Miguel Costa

Rui Miguel Costa

Rui Miguel Costa

Rui Miguel Costa

Rui Miguel Costa

Rui Miguel Costa This is my autism

Rui Miguel Costa All by myself

Brown Carlene Rui Miguel Costa autism makes you hyper focused and do great work.

Rui Miguel Costa Elisha Gray Hawk Gordon same to you , don't give up on your husband , make him do therapy and also couples therapy . I just found out after we separate I had Asperger's first I was diagnosed as a mild case of add taking Adderall things got better , we stop doing research things we re going good . But at one point I suffer from the side effects of the medication lack of sleep and eat start modifying my moods , end up in a separation . Get lots of Info about his condition and him too have to seek help he have to understand how his brain works . I not wasting time arguing who's right who's wrong . All the best and merry Christmas

Elisha Gray Hawk Gordon Bless you! I'm not giving up. I'll keep doing my research. Merry Christmas to you as well. Stay strong.

Amanda Bailey Cole Thanks. 1

Judy Martin Tom Hyle what??? Come on..

Marilyn Mitchell they usually just get mad at me and accuse me of faking it. 1

Cynthia Marcotte Stamer Dawn Wechsler Absolutely. In this mass produce carbon copy world, people have forgotten that each individual is one of gods individually design Works of Art. Over the last 100 years we’ve tried to push everybody into a one size fits all mimeographed world. Instead we should be celebrating these extraordinary and unique talents 1

Kolby Anderson Torvell Overton um true but some are born superior

Lance Johnston No not all . Lol.

Kolby Anderson Some have different strengths and defecits. Some are natural leaders and are superior to others. Wed be fools not to have such individuals take leader positions

Lance Johnston Kolby Anderson just because some people can count beans better then someone else while another can bench press a 1000 doesn't mean that some people are superior then others. Its relative to what the people's perpective is of what are the best qualities needed in their society. So you can apply to things like a runner but you cant apply that to human value. Which a descent should be more concerned with. To not do so is not only ableist as fuck but pretty much would invalidate the existence of most people in this group. The biggest aspect of human success is the ability to affective communicate and work together yet that is a huge barrier to most of us. Are we less then human? No. Stop. This is disgusting.

Kolby Anderson Torvell Overton interesting, do you have resources? This Is a basic truth most everyone fails/refuses to recognize. I dont understand why

Kolby Anderson Some people are natural leaders due to their Gene's like how we are naturally geared towards science. I think we are the superior ones, for obvious reasons. My strengths are what others see as weaknesses.

Dawn Wechsler Ellie Hawn thank you, something to think about 1

Dawn Wechsler Alexis Girven thanks that is a good idea 1

Dawn Wechsler Abraham Batista really only a few people in my family know and my ex. So this is new ground for me, it’s definitely going to be hard to explain. 1

Abraham Batista Believe me Im trying to find a way to explain it also

Alexis Girven Eric Ebert thats an awfully intense response over an innocent question. Aspergers can interfere with communicating in relationships.

Alexis Girven Eric Ebert also youre free to leave at anytime lmao this is a support group

Eric Ebert Alexis Girven ok

Eric Ebert I'll leave. You're, most likely, rightm

J Alfredo Robles At some point you learn nobody wants to hang with an aggressive person.

Dawn Wechsler Cynthia Taylor Thank you, that makes so much sense and is really how I was thinking about it

Brown Carlene Before you date them when they are your friend first.

Cynthia Taylor Brown, I date complete strangers sometimes, so that wouldn't work for me.

Brown Carlene Cynthia Taylor dating strangers can be dangerous. Please play it safe.

Cynthia Taylor Brown, yes, that's why I pick public places.

Dawn Wechsler Joshua Merrel that is probably the best advice I’ve received yet, thanks

Joshua Merrel Dawn Wechsler you're welcome thanks for the compliment

Gabriela Burcea Patrick DePinto trump is diagnosed with aspergers? Because he seems narcissistic to me, maybe even a psychopath/sociopath

Patrick DePinto Gabriela Burcea well remember that narcissistic tendencies can be a part of ASD. Also, Trump’s son obviously has it and it passes down through the father. Trump hasn’t been officially diagnosed, no president has, but there are some psychological professionals (my therapist included) who think that he has it. Think about it, he can’t stay on point, has no filter, doesn’t always realize what he’s saying, etc. Other presidents thought to have had it are Richard Nixon and possibly Abraham Lincoln too 1

Gabriela Burcea Patrick DePinto what is passed through the father? Narcissism or aspergers? Because narcissism is learned not born with and it can be caused by the father (overt narcissism) or mother (covert). If it is aspergers, then i have it from my father?! I just started researching and obssesing over this

Patrick DePinto Gabriela Burcea yeah I’m not sure about narcissism being inherited or not but I know Aspergers can be. The majority of known Aspies are male, so this probably makes sense since the father would be passing on the gene. It may go back a few generations too, I’m not sure of the exacts. But my therapist said that Asperger’s travels through the father’s line typically

Gabriela Burcea Patrick DePinto from what i researched being a woman, aspergers and autism in general was thought to be a lot more prevalent in boys just because girls are so great at adapting socially that they can fool even therapist without actually intending and they do not have the same exact simptoms it manifests a bit different in females because our brain differences between sexes. There are a lot of female aspies they are just wrongly diagnosed usually with borderline personality disorder.

Karen Schwenk Roach-Wilkie Patrick DePinto thank you for your comment. I had in mind to post an opinion question to the group concerning Trump being an Aspie, but decided to do a search first. Found your comment. I personally very much agree that he’s on the spectrum and it explains why he draws so much ire, apart from his policies. Plus, I think it’s a fair conclusion to come to, based on what we know, that Baron has it.

Patrick DePinto Karen Schwenk Roach-Wilkie thanks! Yeah I’d hate to see someone report your post, since Trump gets on so many people’s bad side. When my therapist explained that Trump is an Aspie, she pointed out that his son has it and it runs through the father. I said, “well, it’s assumed he does.” She looked at me like ‘omg are you serious?’ Lol.As divisive as he is, I actually do take some pride in having an Aspie President. I never got to see Nixon (thank God), but now I can say that someone like myself is in the role. And I would very much like to one day enter that role as well. On a personal note, Trump’s cadence and way of talking actually helped me out a lot. I feel like before he came around I had more trouble expressing my thoughts and standing up for myself. Then I listened to him talking and I was transfixed. I began copying the cadence and thought-flow and it has really helped me. I basically used his cadence in interviews to get political scholarships and jobs! That’s why I like him on a personal level that most wouldn’t understand, for most are not on the spectrum, at least for now. But Trump sort of showed me a side of myself I never saw before. He taught me how an Aspie can drive change (whether it’s good change or bad change) and stand up for themselves. He joins the ranks of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs as Aspies that were successful, and serve as good examples for the rest of us. Another defining factor is that one of the mental illnesses that an Aspie can be born with is narcissism, and Trump has that in bulk. The difference between most of us and him is that his manifested as MALIGNANT narcissism, where you go after others sadistically, while we have benign narcissism, which does lead you to be critical of others but keep it to yourself and beat yourself up for not being good enough.

Talena Amanda Goodwin Rob Kinsey my mom has told me things that make me definitely know I am. She told me when I was starting to talk that I didn't say anything until I knew how to say it well. As an adult when I talked to her about me believing I had Asperger's, she says there's nothing wrong with me that I was a totally normal child. This from the same mom that told me I was unique alot which is a nice way of saying odd or weird. She also said to me one day that she thought my husband caused my son's Autism.

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire i need some support and therapy for narcissistic abuse as my mother, brother, exes and current bf are all narcissists and my father recently died after being a completely detached alcoholic father all my life. I may also have cptsd which i hear is brain damage... but who knows? She is my only hope. The only therapist i could find in this country (romania, central east europe) that at least KNOWS about narcissism. The rest of them re-victimize the victims through their complete ignorance. I live with functional depression and once every few years i have a major episode for at least a month or two. Plus anxiety. I also want to be a therapist, is my life long dream but i doubt myself a lot... i need to finish my education first.

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire so i noticed... my narcissistic bf is an intj and i started researching autism as it seemed pretty clear to me that he has it... even more than me. And i have another infj good friend who relates a lot to the aspie's simptoms. I wonder if the aspergers makes him seem narcissistic, but he hits all the 9 criteria for narcissism.

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea i hope he is in therapy.

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire no and never will... plus therapy doesn't really work for narcissists...

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea that's not true

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire well how can they become empathic since real empathy can, not cognitive one, can only be learned during small childhood? And what motivation do they have to be genuinely good to others since they have no empathy and plus the ego-syntonic thing... i get that it can help them if they have addiction issues as they usually do or depression anxiety but how can you cure narcissism?

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea why do you think empathy can only be learned in childhood? Of course you can treat narcissism if the person is willing to seek help. It's an issue with respecting others and a need for power. Why do people have a need for power? They are afraid. Why are they afraid? Weak sense of self/ narcissistic wound. Address narcissistic wound and person = un narcissistic.

Lili Noire You can ignore my view here but I'm a licensed therapist with 10 years treating it.

Lili Noire Also, why would they change? It's miserable being a narcissist. The only true freedom and joy is in our trust and connection with others. Being a narcissist you're devoid of your own humanity and attachment to yourself and others. It's a lot of crap therapists and bashing of so- called personality disordered people that led to this "unable to heal" concept. It's not true. It will likely take 2 or 3 years of therapy to sort out but its completely doable. narcissist%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR2SwRUmM4KEFcu6-aVGU0mwWlreQBm8Ynx3xpdwrylTq8pgArP9iJFwEzo&h=AT0Vu8RQrSrA0y9fHYq915XbBovbU6vFEpPdc5bWZGJjdv__TpHiastnTt7oLr2DPtf8leVBl6ekIakzAQz36ANa-PFz-8e-Y1_qwjEuDiUvzYm_vV5gYk9Bj0Rk01941S4HbpQ9Noe-5si6fhMK&__tn__=R]-R&c[0]=AT36bq70c82N3MRb84CIjPCbLAUoOOr7Pod9BffqgLOa_bgLb3Pk6dBHXfpPk-S_UorulCX8PdxUovkGI5Kn1buPe6a4-kHq5ZviNtbRnGgLYBsjjNA4xiyWBhFhyxU2Ueg6TTIZ7Q9AKoHt74Zuj03uLB4m" rel="nofollow noopener" role="link" tabindex="0" target="_blank">https://goop.com/.../its-not-your-fault-youre-a-narcissist/

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire borderlines also have a weak sense of identity but can be very empathic. Because this is the theory: empathy is developed in childhood. I also like dr ramani durvasula a lot, expert on narcissism, author on the subject, professor in LA who clearly states that if a narcissist will seek help and really want to change which in itself is almost an oxymoron due to the nature of this personality disorder... there is little a therapist can actually do. They can help them understand when and how they hurt others, cognitive empathy, but not actually feeling it. I have seen this always in psychopaths narcissist and sociopaths: if you say walk with them and hit injure ankle, they have no instant reaction. A moment later they might check themselves and coldly say something like: if you don't watch where you're going... a normal empathic person would automatically flinch in the moment they see/ feel your pain not even knowing that they did have a reaction. It is so much more than not respecting others out of fear... it is downright a lack of empathy. And borderlines which can actually have empathy can be cured usually in at least 5 but many time up to TEN!!! years of solid constant therapy. Imagine narcissists who have none or next to none... they are ego syntonic they can't see anything wrong with them, how can they ever willingly want to change?! If they ever end up in therapy it is usually forced by a judge during a divorce maybe or some other situation like that. And the few narcissists i have seen in therapy absolutely fool and gaslight the therapist... to thw point that the therapist can't even recognize the disorder

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire i understand you are an expert on narcissistic personality disorder?

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire and i get thay they suffer but they also use everyone around them till they destroy them. Their victims have it a lot worse than the narcissists. Many end up in the hospital or dead or raped and beaten for years... and all narcissist i ever met absolutely loathe psychology and would not go to a session even if their lives depended on it! So it's imposible to help someone like that. Weak sense of self i had all my life and i never suffered from lack of empathy. Quite the opposite. And their victims are usually borderline (i didn't invent this, please check cellani, david's books) with an even worse identity problem who suffer greatly at the hands of the abuser.

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea i think ppl should not be in relationships with narcissists unless they are willing to get help.

Lili Noire I work almost exclusively with complex trauma and PDs for over 10 years post masters. 8 years school, 3 years hospital work post placement, private practice, registered, supervised, now supervising. If a therapist can't see narcissism they shouldn't be practicing.

Lili Noire No one can get help without wanting it. People have to cooperate or it is not possible.

Lili Noire I think you misread what i wrote, i did not say it was fear of others, but i don't have time to debate. I wish you the best! You mentioned your partner has it. I hope you are well. ♡

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire unfortunately in romania almost no therapist can recognise narcissism and i mean covert one, not the more obvious grandiose one... and even more, they absolutely re-traumatize their victims who do come to therapy. For example i got this from a psychologist when i was sharing my traumas created by my abusive mother:"did you ever think that your mother did those things to make you stronger?!". Both of my jaws dropped... yes, my mother abused me for my own good. Way to go, lady who shouldn't be practicing!... i understood you. I just hate narcissists... thank you for taking the time to explain

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea I don't like them near me personally - like in my life because they are a danger, and agree with your response. As a therapist though I can't help them if I'm angry/ hating on them so I have a different approach. I don't in any way excuse their behavior. But i can't go in like Judge Judy. LolI hope you told the therapist how their approach made you feel. They need to modify that otherwise they are indeed doing further damage. And you can disagree with a therapist. "Did you ever think xyx? No I didn't! Because..."My mom was narcissistic too. Still is. It's incredibly damaging. It did make me stronger in a way, living with a narcissist, but I can agree with you that was not her intent. Her intent was to get what she needed at any cost to anyone around, including her children. Later in life she became partially deaf, that did not help the narcissism. It's interesting you think your partner may be narcissistic, and here has a brain difference. Autistic people sometimes need to learn the rules. And why. Might be worth it to explain to them why you need what you do, otherwise please don't stay with a narcissist. You'll just get injured! A LOT of people with disconnected, emotionally unavailable parents get involved with similar spouses. Break that pattern!

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire how to break it?!

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea?

Lili Noire The pattern? Don't date narcissists!

Lili Noire Read: Attached by Amir Levine

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire easy to say! Covert ones are almost impossible to detect in the first few months in my experience and that is what i attract and am attracted to. They seem so empathic like me but are the opposite. And i have another dilemma: when a non narcissist is in love with me and treats me nice, it is always a very motherly feminine nice guy syndrom affraid of women, asexual, courageless needy suffocating guy that i am absolutely not attracted too. Usually also has unfortunate looks and terrible hygene that adds to the lack of attraction... i wonder how can i find a decent person that is also attractive to me and viceversa

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea you need to leave if you find out.

Lili Noire Or be alone until you're sure of someone, don't commit and lose your independence until you know that they aren't.

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire yes that i will do now that i know. Too bad i didn't know until now.

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea we are all learning!! Its very hard to not repeat a pattern.

Lili Noire To me, you seem really defensive (interpreting neutral statements as combative or responding as if they were) in our interactions, and with others in the forum here. That might be a barrier in attracting people with secure attachment, and may be why you find either weak or predatory people instead of healthy people. Most secure healthy attached people find continual defensiveness to be difficult and combative. It makes a person feel like there's an argument or conflict when there's nothing intended. I say this with frankness but kindness, and may be wrong or it may be a language barrier issue. Best wishes on your healing journey.

Lili Noire I think health comes learning about attachment styles in self and other, and not allowing anything but secure attachments to others close to us.

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire i don't know if the fact that english is not my language and i learned it by myself makes a difference compared to me speaking my own language. But i do not always talk like this. We are speaking about extremely sensitive topics for me here, when i date i do not talk about narcissistic abuse and autism so i seem more normal and charming i don't know if you also have a generation (my generation) of overspoiled guys who refuse to work to 30 even 40 (most of them), still get money from mommy, car from daddy and so on. But most women and girls have noticed they are like this and it is hard to find a normal one these days. I think my country is going through an age of arrested developement after a lot of abuse. Here people became obssesed in the past 30 years with owning stuff and showing off for example.

Lili Noire True yes

Gabriela Burcea Lilian von Hier well, for the past 3 years i researched narcissism like crazy obssesed really... and now i do the same with autism and aspergers and i am very intense and obssesive but i do not have ocd. Also for the past 12-13 years i haven't ate meat at first and then become a vegan and read all about that too. I get angry irritated when someone talks as if they have good arguments in these subjects when they actually barely know anything.

Lilian von Hier Gabriela Burcea Please note:I’m not an expert but I have a partner with Asperger, his best pal is one too and also my half sister, hence the experience in the area.Regarding the restricted interests:All of the above have dedicated their lives to those and they have become experts in their “obsessions”These are: photography, sound design, and science fiction and my sister is a librarian. I don’t want to elaborate more who does what because that’s not relevant).Anyway , all of them have become experts in their restricted interests. And have written books about it and have managed to earn a living with it. And they have taught it themselves: auto didactically. That’s the level the restricted interests can reach, becoming an expert (the cliche is e.g. the typical computer-technology nerd) and quite often, they have been their own teachers.Regarding religion: all three of them don’t believe in God. They are very rational. When they were children, they had huge problems with religion class, would suffer and even hide in the material room / closet in the classroom.As far as I know, not believing there is a God is pretty much the rule for Asperger’s. The literature I have read on the topic confirm this.Get diagnosed by a professional. Only one can tell you if you are or not And I send you lots of greetings all the way from Berlin!

Gabriela Burcea Lilian von Hier i never read anything regarding religion and aspergers and most people nowadays are atheists. But i will research it. Most obssesions i have are in psychology and this is what i am going to do woth my life. My ex therapist also said i know more than him on those subjects. I already explain the level of awareness in my country among therapist... thank you

Gabriela Burcea Lilian von Hier not very religious, i don't go to church, i don't pray, don't have pictures with god but i do believe he exists even if not exactly how the bible describes him. The bible is a huge allegory anyways. I do believe in a higher power althought people say i kinda lack hope and faith. But here in romania we are ortodox christians which are very different than the christians in the us or uk and not the same as catholics either. Like the russians.

Gabriela Burcea Marina SV Mercury good point. I have read that being "an empath" is often actually being an aspie and empaths are often the victims of narcissistic people indeed.

Gabriela Burcea Erika Brook Roote yes but it helps me understand and accept that i will never be like the majority of the people and life really is harder for me. As a lady said above about the heat exhaustion. I get so irritated drained and tired just from that simple thing that doesn't seem to bother anyone else around me.

Amanda Bailey Cole Julie O'Donoghue does your son get enough sleep? Sometimes sleep deprivation can present as adhd. My 5yr old still needs 12-13 hours of sleep a night. I need at least 10. Sorry if this is something you've already discussed with your doctor.

Julie O'Donoghue it’s okay. He does get enough sleep and his diagnosis came from a psychologist who did hours of testing.

Ian Robertson Amanda Bailey Cole Julie O'Donoghue interesting fact, brain scans of ADHD and Aspies are very similar, perhaps identical to a layperson, this could mean that one is being confused for the other. I think sleep is very important but so is a reduction in stress, and sensory input - which is likely all contributing to the 'ADHD' diagnosis. In my experience doctors know very little, and most havent actually read the brain scans as I have. I suspect you will find positive changes just by increasing sleep, reducing stressors alone (i.e. remove florescent lighting) and any negative environmental factors (bullies, bad teachers) and even allergens as they all contribute to stress....report back and let us know. Please!

Ian Robertson IN MY BIASED AND UNFILTERED EXPERIENCE AND IMHO: Aspies should never take psychedelics including THC, et al. this is because our brain is already extremely wired, giving kids this garbage only makes a bad situation worse. Adderrell can help, but it is Amphetamines. Ritalin is worse. Avoid bi-polar medications (seriously) doctors hand it out like candy at a party, but the long term damage is not good. anti-depressants can work and are recommended initially, but be careful ALL anti-depressants have side effects and getting off a anti-depressent is harder than going off Opioid withdrawal; quitting cold turkey on those pharmaceuticals CAN kill you, look up serotonin syndrome. Modafinil is best as a replacement for medicines like ritalin and Amphetamines because it is stable with no jitters; thus, no side effects AFAIK. I am not a doctor, I just KNOW MORE than they do having LIVED it, and having been on all of those "medicines".

Julie O'Donoghue Ian Robertson My son is 15 now and is on medications, Abilify, Concerta, and Prozac. He’s very smart as are you I’m just really worried, he gets very good grades but is very upset about being on medication.

Ian Robertson Julie O'Donoghue my personal experience: GET OFF ABILIFY. His success is NOT dependent on that medication specifically, I was on it to at his age, stop please. He hates it for a reason.

Ian Robertson It makes you a shell of your former self, almost zombie like.

Ian Robertson in that case THC has scientifically in some studies shown to be better than abbilify. But IMHO neither is good nor needed.

Ian Robertson Julie O'Donoghue having been a human guinea pig I can point you in the right direction but only in a PM not public forum, however. Just let me know.

Julie O'Donoghue Send me a pm

Ian Robertson thanks, but to me in a weird way its like a positive because it just tells me to be aware of that area and then improve on it. I dont think I have a mood problem, but rather just like good challenge. IMHO this is the best way to perceive criticism of all types. However, it should be noted that constructive criticism is always a good thing.EDIT: I strongly agree with your comment, and thank you for that. I am hopeful that comes across to the readers and their parents/caretakers.

Amanda Bailey Cole Ian Robertson I think it shows a lot of inner strength to hear mean comments as a form of constructive criticism. You seem to be instinctively good at managing your mental health. I actually find it inspiring and I think I will try to build that mindset in myself. Thanks for sharing your story.

Ian Robertson Amanda Bailey Cole Indeed, it is similar in concept of "post traumatic Growth" i.e. the decision to take a negative and not only learn but GROW from that. I still struggle with issues including PTSD, but I have learned that only fear begets fear, and positive attitude is what makes all the difference in this case in order to break the chain of negative emotions. I am not saying I am perfect or that it is easy, quite the opposite.

Ian Robertson How poor? I struggled in sports, but nevertheless played and never gave up. I did quite well in bowling. ...so I guess it depends. My recommendation for Aspies is to learn a martial art such as Karate or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsiu because it teaches discipline, leverages our thinking process and increases confidence.

Kathryn Mansell-Hamann Feel free to post here anytime you want to. I know sometimes it helps to be able to share what we need to, when we need to.

Yana Mitya Kathryn Mansell-Hamann thank you 1

Dawn Wechsler Yana Mitya It would be really nice if your husband could read your emotional and visual cues better, however, that may not be his strength. Please be patient and continue to post. And ask for advice, we will help as much as we can. And I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. 1

Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett NT here, married to ND. You will have to understand that your husband will can not change. ND can "mask" and try very hard to be who you want them to be but it's very stressful for them and can't be held up long term. Do some reading of books written by "mixed couples" and read both sides of the stories. Your eye will open and things you never understood will come into focus.

Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett I have learned to try to understand who my Aspie is and readjust my expectations. While I can't expect him to hold my hand for long periods of time while shopping (Shopping is stressful for him anyway), I learned to understand that when he pats my thigh while driving, that is his "love language" and that has to suffice for me.

Yana Mitya Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett I love to read and learn, any suggestion on good book ti start with.

Yana Mitya Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett yes there's a lot i had to adjust and learn through the years and a lot of letting go. He was diagnosed just few years into our marriage which clarified a lot of things for us. I just get overwhelmed sometimes.

Yana Mitya Dawn Wechsler thank you, it turned out nice.

Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett Aspergers Marriage and Relationships by Karen Slee Walking on Eggshells by Karen Rowlands Our Sociall Awkward Marriage by Tom and Linda Peters. All great reads, easy to understand and you get both viewpoints.

Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett Yana Mitya that's normal even for NT. Just follow the airline's advice: put your own oxygen mask on first so that you can stay alive to help others.

Yana Mitya Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett thank you.

Andrew Morton Ami Lavacek I totely agree with you 1

Andrew Morton Dame DeValois Very very true

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire she said because i was so emotional. Well i was talking about the most traumatising stuff in my life, some of them still fresh for me, of course i was emotional! And the trigger was when i said my dad died. For many months i was fine with casually saying it and now i suddenly was not and it changed my emotional state. Plus i was extremely abused by the narcissists in my life. Since i desperately want to get better and know a lot of psychology myself, i was very determined and i overshare and went straight to the core of stuff and i think it was too much for her... i hate being too much for everyone. I think i need an aspergers therapist i mean one who has it! To understand me

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea studies show aspies understand each other best. 1

Lili Noire https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=A1AUdaH-EPM

Lili Noire That is a great short video Gabriella

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire what medication exactly? Antidepressants or? And for what to get numb and fat? I have some mild generalised anxiety caused not only by the traumas but by the constant train of thoughts and my social troubles, no panic attacks, mild short depression episodes once every few YEARS! Always caused by serious troubles in my family. And that it's it. I seem normal to everyone, healthy, sociable, extraverted, nice, attractive, fun. Why do i need the pills for?

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea I'm not a prescriber, I haven't seen you, I was not the therapist so i don't know.

Lili Noire I said "most people"

Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett Gabriela Burcea in one of the books I’ve been reading, the ASD man was taking over the counter lithium in tiny doses to take the edge off. He felt it was helpful.

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire well, she didn't see me either and she was absurd. I was just explaining better my situation. I think i have cptsd but i don't see it as bad as to drug myself because of it instead of therapy

Gabriela Burcea Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett we do not have lithium in romania, we looked for it for my schizoaffective bipolar friend who is extremely resistant to any medication and was manic for half of year last summner... and god forbid i would never take something so toxic. I know small dosage but still it is so toxic.

Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett Gabriela Burcea there have been studies here in the US that communities with a higher level of lithium in the drinking water have consistently lowering incidences of suicide, and domestic violence. It does occur naturally. I am not a believer in over medication, however you have to make that decision for yourself. There is risk everywhere.

Gabriela Burcea Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett interesting. Yet they do not know how lithium works. For her it was an easy decision as her diagnosis is so hard... but it is not to be found here.

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire and then you say i am defensive... in my first post in this group you asked me why i need therapy since aspergers and cptsd are brain diffrences if i remember correctly and i took the time to write a long comment explaining why i need therapy. Meds won't teach me how to set boundaries with people and what boundaries to set. How to stop helping everyone else sacrificing myself and other things like that are the consequences of being raised by a narcissist and an alcoholic. And makes me attracted and attractive to narcissists that i wish to repel for the rest of my life.

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire plus i never wrote i feel great or gave that impression. I only explained that the level of anxiety and depression that i experience now and on a daily basis are absolutely not even close to enough to put me on meds!

Lili Noire https://whywesuffer.com/tag/chronic-defensiveness/

Lili Noire https://leadingwithtrust.com/.../your-defensiveness-is.../

Lili Noire https://www.psychologytoday.com/.../en-guarde-how...

Gabriela Burcea Lili Noire please stop stalking my posts and comments in case you can't see this is what you are doing. I didn't question your intentions. I am not looking for insight, i am an extremely insightfull person. Asking me "why do you need therapy if you are so well" is absolutely not ok even if it may seem subtle.

Lili Noire Gabriela Burcea lol im not stalking you. Perhaps i see why she says you need psychiatry.

Gabriela Burcea Jennifer Walker Gerhart i can but it is in romanian. That's why i was so driven and excited. In freaking romania therapists know next to nothing about aspergers and narcissists and narcissistic abuse or cptsd... you barely find any info in romanian and she wrote all i read in 3 years about it in romanian so i wanted to work.with her

Jennifer Walker Gerhart Gabriela Burcea Ah, ok. I hope you are able to speak with her or another qualified therapist again soon.

Gabriela Burcea Jennifer Walker Gerhart it's not the first time i open my deep wounds to them for nothing and i honestly think this was the last time

Gabriela Burcea Talena Amanda Goodwin mother brother ex and current bf... ex psychopath boss

Talena Amanda Goodwin Gabriela Burcea I suspect my mother and grandmother to be narcissist or something. My mom never encourages me, says I'm proud of you. I have lost a lot of weight and this past week she told me that no guy would want me, they wouldn't want someone that looks sickly. My daughter got a vanity for Christmas and I posted a picture of it in her room and all my grandmother had to say was where is her jewelry box. She got one for Christmas from my grandmother, her great grandmother.

Gabriela Burcea Talena Amanda Goodwin i am sorry. It is hard to have such mothers... best for us is to go no contact or at least as little as possible

Gabriela Burcea Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett thank you but you speak from your more civilised country point of voew. I invite you to a romanian psych facility to see for ypurself what it means here... last summer i kept visiting my schizoaffective bipolar friend who was extremely manic and had to be internated and drugged for almost half a year and was still manic when she got out... and she had a new bad bruise on her everyday. We called the police and reported the nurses when she told us they beated her with a bat in the bathroom for shitting her pants because she has diarheea. And i got my phone out to take a picture of her huge new bruise on the back and the nurses who were closely watching knowing that she talked got mad and jumped on me like crazy screaming and abusing me! For trying to prove their abuse on her. This is the world i live in....

Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett Are there no private practices there? Where you go to the office for therapy? And yes, I am familiar with old fashioned "insane asylums". https://timeline.com/willowbrook-the-institution-that... I did a psychiatric rotation in nursing school here. Thank God they closed this hell hole down!

Gabriela Burcea Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett there are private stuff also but they are no good and expensive

Paula Schiff Grundleger-Gossett I'm sorry to hear that.

Gabriela Burcea Dawn Wechsler i get it but it is necessary to keep you out of manic states from what i know. I have a schizoaffective bipolar friend recently hospitalised.

Dawn Wechsler Gabriela Burcea that’s a really difficult diagnosis, I feel for your friend.

Kolby Anderson i fried keto for a month, it was great and improved my mood dramatically. I think I’m gonna give it another shot!

Marcie Coleman My doctor recommended Dr Eric Westman and I really enjoyed his literature on the subject.... his first publication is not out of print but if you look him up on YouTube there are some really great videos where he talks about the science behind the diet 1

Marcie Coleman

Kolby Anderson I'll give it a look! I've started to notice a big difference in my mood regulation since I've added broccoli sprouts to my diet

Kolby Anderson https://youtu.be/x6G9knttpZc 1

Lauren Martin Cynthia Taylor same type 1 diabetic as well as celiac and gastroparesis. It's a shit show. 1

Selena Navarro Zeke Stone thanks

Maya Glavin Dawn Wechsler hi thank you so much, I’m glad I could share! Thank you very much it means a lot!

Maya Glavin Suzanne Carver awe thank you so much happy New Years!

Suzanne Carver Maya Glavin you to - life can be a challenge but that’s what makes us stronger 1

Maya Glavin Suzanne Carver definitely!